Alien Pollen Made Him Do It
by Lady Yueh
Summary: What the title says. For the happywho thing on LJ. Prompt: Nature walk.


Title: Alien Pollen Made Him Do It

Author: Lady Yueh

Fandom: Doctor Who

Characters: Ten. Rose.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Not my property and no infringement is intended.

A/N: I don't know about fluffy but torturing The Doctor makes me happy. Kidding! Sort of. Not betaed, so all those pesky punctuation errors are mine.

Prompt: nature walk

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"Let's go to Lantria, he says. They have the perfect environment for nature walks," the agitated young woman sneers mockingly at a vaguely purple bloom. "Forgot to mention the alien pollen didn't he? I asked 'im, too. Said, 'There's no weird pollen that'll infect us with death spores? No mutated Venus fly-traps waiting for a quick human sized snack? What about humongous life sucking bugs?' Bastard just grins at me!"

She viciously snaps the branches of an alien tree by pulling at the fabric it's snagged as she begins to imitate someone else's voice. Badly. "'No, Rose. None of that. Where did you get such odd ideas? It's not like they have iratus bugs on Lantria. It's perfectly safe.'"

She stops in her arduous trek, wiping at her forehead with an extra sleeve. "Perfectly safe, my arse!" she shouts to the desolate wilderness.

Leaning against a particularly large specimen of sedimentary rock she mournfully wonders how it all went so very wrong.

--------

_16 Hours Earlier_

He was bouncing on her bed.

"Rose," he called loudly.

She burrowed under her pillow.

"Roseroserose," he chanted in time with his bouncing. "Ro-ack!"

She ignored the viciously pleasure that made her grin at the muffled thump his body made when it hit the floor (she'd had practice in the maneuver thanks to Mickey's antics) in favor of returning to deep sleep.

"Fine! I'll be back!"

--------

_12 Hours Earlier_

She was being poked.

Incessantly.

She squirmed, trying to dislodge and deter the perpetrator of such an annoying and heinous action.

He. Would. Not. Cease.

"OW! My dose! Wose! You hit my dose!"

The poking had stopped.

She went back to sleep.

--------

_7 Hours Earlier_

It should have been a shock to her comfortably warm body to be instantaneously deprived of its textile cocoon. It would have been so in any other place, but the TARDIS had climate control.

There was a loud squeak (sort of a ferret and mouse mix), the sound of fabric hitting the floor, and then the thud of rapidly retreating feet.

She stretched, luxuriating in the feel of soft cotton sheets with a ridiculously high thread count against her knicker and camisole clad body as she fell asleep.

--------

_2 Hours Earlier_

The door slammed open with a thunderous crash.

"All right! That's it! This is getting a wee bit ridiculous. Rose! Wake up! You've had ages of sleep and it's time for all good little companions to get up, ready to face the universe."

"Doctor? What are you _wearing_? And why are you pokin' my bed sheets with a--is that a _cane_?!"

The Doctor's hand came up to pull away the cloth that had been covering his eyes and the helmet that was meant to protect his head as he sheepishly hid the cane behind his back.

"Rose! You're awake!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she questioned, bemused.

"No reason," he babbled quickly. "Looks like you're dressed and ready for adventure. Brilliant! You're ready, I'm ready. Nous sommes prêt! Magnifique! Onto Lantria, then! Allons-y!"

And he was gone, racing out the door and through the hallways towards the control room.

Rose shook her head with faint resignation. "He's got into the sugar again."

--------

_1 Hour 55 Minutes Earlier_

"So, what's so great about Lantria, Doctor?" Rose questioned as she braced herself against the TARDIS controls.

"Oh, it's brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Loveliest emerald sky you've ever seen. And the plants! Oh, Rose. You've never seen anything like it! It's like a Super-Rainforest. You'd almost swear the planet had every species of plant life in the universe--though, of course, that's impossible. We bhave/b to go. Taking a nature walk in Lantria is a definite must for every self-proclaimed traveler of the universe." He ended this speech with wide, beseeching eyes and an earnest expression.

How could she say anything but yes?

"Well, all right--"

He gave a cheer.

"But!"

He paused solemnly, waiting for the ominous 'but' to be revealed.

"There isn't anything that's gonna kill us is there?"

The Doctor frowned. "Kill us," he repeated with confusion.

Well, now she felt stupid but rushed on with her question anyway. "There's no weird pollen that'll infect us with death spores? No mutated Venus fly-traps waiting for a quick human sized snack? What about humongous life sucking bugs?"

The Doctor's smile was a shade away from being a smirk and much more smug than usual. Her hand twitched with the desire to smack it away but she repressed The Prentiss Slap with her usual iron discipline.

"Rose," he began in that patronizing 'you're such a silly little human but I won't hold that against you' tone. He shook his head fondly. "No, Rose. None of that. Where did you get such odd ideas? It's not like they have iratus bugs on Lantria. It's perfectly safe."

She should've realized what a mess they were in for once he'd said those words.

--------

_1 Hour Earlier_

Rose had to admit that when The Doctor was right he was usually very, very right.

Lantria was breathtaking. There was something worth seeing everywhere she looked and the smells of various plants and flowers should have been overwhelming but instead every breath was deliciously and uniquely scented.

"You won't find better oxygen anywhere else," The Doctor chirped from beside her. "In fact--oh."

That didn't sound good.

"Oh? Doctor?"

He breathed heavily, his eyes bright with the thinnest hint of brown where the iris should have been, but instead the pupils were absolutely blown. A sheen of sweat coated his reddened face and even his hair was affected, sticking to his face.

"Doctor?"

"Mydria pollen," he groaned.

"What?" she questioned desperately.

"Sorry," he whispered lowly with true regret.

With that, he turned and rushed into the dense foliage. Dodging tree trunks and hurdling over bushes.

The action took her a moment to register before she started running after him.

He'd been lost from her sight moments later and she cursed his "superior" alien physiology.

Only…was that his _coat_?

She picked it up, continuing in the same direction at a much more manageable pace in lieu of her previous mad dash.

There was his suit jacket.

Minutes later she found his tie hanging like a Christmas tree ornament from an orange coloured tree.

She ignored the thought that he was probably running through the forest absolutely bstarkers/b and continued her search.

--------

_Now_

She doesn't know whether she should be relieved that she hasn't found his pants yet. It could be that he's still wearing them, so good. But, it could be that she's just missed them and with them the chance to find The Doctor before he dies and regenerates because of alien, death pollen.

"I'm gonna tell 'im 'I told you so' for at **least** a month," she mutters viciously.

"Rose?"

She freezes.

"Rose?" The voice is low, slightly slurred and very confused.

"Doctor?!" she shouts.

"Rose! 'M here!"

They play the psychotic version of Marco Polo until she finds him.

"Hullo, Rose," he greets with a punch-drunk grin.

He's alive.

And absolutely smashed.

And almost completely naked.

Lovely.

She sighs as she drapes his coat over him.

"Doctor?" she questions sweetly (because otherwise she might be tempted to shout and yell about the absolute fright he's given her and how scared she was that he was idying/i. Again.).

"Yeth, Rose?" he slurs.

"What exactly does Mydria pollen do to you?" she continues with as much patience as she can muster.

"Mydria pollen?" he repeats with a frown. "Makes me. Hot and itchy. S'nice though. Verra nish. Relly. Really. Reeeaaallllyyyyy. Heh."

"S'not gonna kill you?"

"Nope. Noooopuhhh. Puh. Puh. Nope! Why would it do that?"

She relaxes as the relief rushes through her adrenaline filled body.

"You sound like you're stoned!" she accuses.

"Am not! Don't! S'your fault. Mean Rose. Meanie mean mean," he pauses.

"Mean," he adds with a nod.

"How's this my fault? **You **wanted to come to Lantria! **You** ignored me when I asked about wacky pollen! How is this **my **fault?"

He pouts. "You hit my nose!" he whines gratingly.

She gapes. "I did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"So!"

"Not!"

"Sosososososo! So, there! Mean Rose hit my nose. Poor nose. Needed medcin an' couldn't tell me 'bout the Maydera pollen. Mydera. Mydria."

"But it's not going to hurt you, is it?"

"No." He nods decisively. "Just…sleepy," he murmurs. "Rose? 'M sleepy."

He's pouting again, his eyelashes are fluttering, and he looks like a worn out toddler. She's too tired (and relieved) to be angry so she sits next to him, smiling indulgently as he curls closer.

"Just remember, the nature walk was your idea."


End file.
